Top 3 Odd Places where you DO or MIGHT or NEVER want to find a date
3. DO BANKS. You can see how people act in places of authority. Respectful, patient, demanding, well-mannered.
3. MIGHT GAS STATIONS. But only your dating web-dress (you’ll learn all about that secret in Chapter 2)! The condition of a vehicle and the amount of fuel they put in it can really be a dating screener. It’s like a very odorous grocery store. There’s a point actually; never date a guy who does all his grocery shopping at a Texaco quick mart.
3. NEVER DENTIST. Especially if it’s the dentist showing an interest. As a good general rule, never date anyone whom you meet in a situation involving drugs, stress, body piercing or marking
2. DO OPTOMETRIST. For just the opposite reasons as the dentist. It’s a chance to be open about whether someone finds you attractive. It’s invitingly romantic, looking at someone’s face intently, and gazing into one of the most sensual of human parts, the eyes. I even suggest inviting a prospective dating friend along. Besides, you’ve undoubtedly heard that love is nearsighted.
2. MIGHT AUTO AND TIRE SHOPS. I am amazed at why more women don’t frequent these places. But the ladies I have met there are amazing: independent and focused. Almost as amazed at the fact that men don’t spend more time at the post office from 11-3, when a lot of single women are just standing in line. At least, they acted single.
2. NEVER PARKS. If you can talk to someone at a park, they have a high possibility of being exactly that. Some places have a high propensity for attracting the homeless, shiftless, and crazy. The only other place I’ve met more crazies is at McDonald’s.
1. DO STUDY. Show some class: literally. A friend was telling me about a recently divorced man who wanted to study something really different from his work-a-day accounting. He picked karate. And eventually the teacher made quite a move on him. He has said that it was the best place in the world for him, since he was really open to a new experience—that got him over his marriage and on with life. The beauty of taking a class in something challenging is that it serves as a screening device.
You can be taking emotional notes on who is interesting and thinking like you. Just taking the same class may be an indication of common interests. You can also take a class in something really outre for the same reason: skydiving, for example. The moral is to really inventory your interests and match them with your imagination.
An edible tip: At least 5 people have told me that their best relationships have come from cooking classes.
1. MIGHT PICNIC CONCERTS AND OUTDOOR FIREWORKS.
Bring a big blanket to establish your safe territory. This is to be compared with the pure park experience, where you have no fences or common interests. Don’t be bashful; arrive early and wander around to find your best vantage and advantage. Not to mention (even though I’m about to) someone who strikes your fancy. Then, let the fireworks happen. It’s a wonderfully safe way to have new neighbors in a relaxed and congenial atmosphere.
1. NEVER AND THE #1 NEVER IS…EXERCISING ANYWHERE.
I have seen many of these fitness findings and rarely seen anything like a happy pairing. I have no idea why. Maybe the emphasis is too easily on the purely physical. At the end of the relationship, you usually end up changing to a less convenient club. Believe me. It’s a lot harder to find a convenient health club than a good club. Now, having ruled out all forms of exercise, dating is a life of contradictions: exercise doesn’t include golfing (called “a fine walk ruined” by Mark Twain) or especially its junior version, putt-putt golf. If you can make a match in golf, play through, and don’t worry about threesomes!
So as you begin to open your dating eyes, you also need to organize. I recommend to all my clients coming out of a divorce to keep a journal. There are obvious legal reasons I advise this; there were also personal reasons. I want my clients to be happier and better adjusted. By looking back at where they came from, they can chart ahead.
I know this ‘personal charting’ works because the clients that could take the step of writing a personal journal inevitably took more responsibility for their own emotional health. Their own choices. In short, they taught themselves. I’ve seen the timid become bold and the arrogant softened by this process. Nine times out of ten, they also made much better, happier dating choices.
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