BE REALISTIC: Who you are and how you look will be appealing to someone who likes certain features that you have and certain characteristics you display. You will, with patience, find someone, for example, who loves hairy chests, gapped-teeth, small feet, or big bellies. But keep in mind that Britney Spears and Brad Pitt are probably not the someone you have set your standards for. If, that is, you are an unemployed, inch-thick glasses-wearing, lightly endowed nose-picker who insists on taking your mother on your dates with you (yes, I know someone like this), you may want to avoid telling the woman with the Master’s Degree and six writing awards who is thirty pounds overweight that she is just not good enough for you to take out in public. This brings us to the next hint:
BE KIND: It is possible to be real, to be honest, without being cruel. Just because the Net makes for anonymity does not give any one of us license to make people hurt. I have watched one of my friends break down and cry when, after investing days of email exchange, she was told she needed a bra with under wires. It is OKAY to decline. (I have been rejected in such a fine manner before that I wanted to help the guy find his soulmate…that’s how cool he was. I have also very gracefully and politely expressed rejection to others, as well, wherein the men have thanked me for being so pleasant.) It is perfectly acceptable to explain to someone that this is not working and that you would like to respectfully continue your search. It is even quite beautiful when you compliment one thing about the person. If, after a kind «no thank you», the person begins a stalking ritual, then you can let it rip.
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